Jan 1 - Jan 3, 2012 - A time of contemplation
I've spent the last three days in thought about many things. About where I was in my life, in my path and in my family. I have decided that as of January 1st I was starting a clean slate. There was no need to dwell on the past - the good or the bad.
Starting today I will spend time daily studying, meditating in front of my altar. I know there is much I need to learn about this new path I am embarking on but I also know that the Gods are with me in whatever form they choose to appear to me in.
I will do my best to write in my blog daily about what I think, feel and see in the world around me. Sometimes what I will write about will be about family, friends, etc but I want this blog to be about the person I am growing into ... not the person from my past that I had become.
Many things happened in the last three months of 2011 to shape me into someone I wasn't sure I wanted to be. My husbands bout with cancer, which isn't over yet. But it is something that we will live with and work through to completion ... whatever that may be.
Some people don't understand my need to walk away from plans that had been made for things during those three months. Some walked away, I am still not sure why, but hope that they find peace in their reasons. I know I am at peace and did the right thing by putting my husband first.
I thank the Gods for those people who have helped us since the beginning, those who have not decided they needed to change their relationship with us and have only gotten closer. Many of those who are helping and have helped are Christian (Quaker).
Their philosophy (at least this churches) is if you see a brother or sister in need ... you help. You don't expect anything in return. You jump in with both feet and help them get through whatever has been handed them in life. This same church has helped me (personally) in the past when I first moved and had absolutely nothing.
They are a people to learn from.
Enough rambling. I will close with a poem I wrote many years ago during a sweatlodge - a poem given to me by the Mother (Earth). I hope you too will find blessings in the words.
© KJ Deal 07.15.2006
Starting today I will spend time daily studying, meditating in front of my altar. I know there is much I need to learn about this new path I am embarking on but I also know that the Gods are with me in whatever form they choose to appear to me in.
I will do my best to write in my blog daily about what I think, feel and see in the world around me. Sometimes what I will write about will be about family, friends, etc but I want this blog to be about the person I am growing into ... not the person from my past that I had become.
Many things happened in the last three months of 2011 to shape me into someone I wasn't sure I wanted to be. My husbands bout with cancer, which isn't over yet. But it is something that we will live with and work through to completion ... whatever that may be.
Some people don't understand my need to walk away from plans that had been made for things during those three months. Some walked away, I am still not sure why, but hope that they find peace in their reasons. I know I am at peace and did the right thing by putting my husband first.
I thank the Gods for those people who have helped us since the beginning, those who have not decided they needed to change their relationship with us and have only gotten closer. Many of those who are helping and have helped are Christian (Quaker).
Their philosophy (at least this churches) is if you see a brother or sister in need ... you help. You don't expect anything in return. You jump in with both feet and help them get through whatever has been handed them in life. This same church has helped me (personally) in the past when I first moved and had absolutely nothing.
They are a people to learn from.
Enough rambling. I will close with a poem I wrote many years ago during a sweatlodge - a poem given to me by the Mother (Earth). I hope you too will find blessings in the words.
In the Arms of the Mother
The Inipi was silent and the ground cool as the women entered.
The darkness wrapped around us like a mothers arms as the door was closed.
The darkness wrapped around us like a mothers arms as the door was closed.
In the arms of the Mother we lay,
In the darkness of the womb,
The silence of the Inipi stirred my soul.
In the darkness of the womb,
The silence of the Inipi stirred my soul.
Round one brought questions,
Questions which I knew would be answered within.
The light in the darkness eased my uncertainty.
Questions which I knew would be answered within.
The light in the darkness eased my uncertainty.
In the arms of the Mother we lay,
In the darkness of the womb,
The silence of the Inipi stirred my soul.
In the darkness of the womb,
The silence of the Inipi stirred my soul.
Round two brought an inner peace.
Prayers began forming in my mind.
The Ancestors held me safe and secure.
Prayers began forming in my mind.
The Ancestors held me safe and secure.
In the arms of the Mother we lay,
In the darkness of the womb,
The silence of the Inipi stirred my soul.
In the darkness of the womb,
The silence of the Inipi stirred my soul.
Round three brought the answers;
Questions which I had asked silently now complete.
My path now opened for me to take.
Questions which I had asked silently now complete.
My path now opened for me to take.
In the arms of the Mother we lay,
In the darkness of the womb,
The silence of the Inipi stirred my soul.
In the darkness of the womb,
The silence of the Inipi stirred my soul.
Round four brought completion.
I knew the path now, the plan formed within.
The answers I had been seeking finally shown in full light.
I knew the path now, the plan formed within.
The answers I had been seeking finally shown in full light.
In the arms of the Mother we lay,
In the darkness of the womb,
The silence of the Inipi stirred my soul.
In the darkness of the womb,
The silence of the Inipi stirred my soul.
The door opened and the transformed slipped from within.
The womb of our mother had held us safe and secure.
The seeker no longer was seeking.
The womb of our mother had held us safe and secure.
The seeker no longer was seeking.
The hearts of all beat as one in joy and peace.
In the arms of the Mother we lay,
In the darkness of the womb,
The silence of the Inipi stirred my soul.
In the darkness of the womb,
The silence of the Inipi stirred my soul.
© KJ Deal 07.15.2006
I wish I lived closer to you and dad so I could be there to help out more with things,I'm doing a good job on keeping the positive energy going its just so hard cuz deep down I am so scared....I love you guys and you are always in my thoughts and prayers....Keep me posted on everything that is going on please.....
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